Matt and I got married for the second time on Saturday, August 23, 2008.
Hopefully the state won’t annul this one.
This time, since we had more time, we invited family and friends. Some from close, some from far away. If we’d had a bigger budget I would have liked to invite many more, but we were very honored by those who did come and we had a super great time.
Our minister was Alyson Jacks. She was amazing and sent us a copy of the ceremony we worked together to produce. I want to post it here so I don’t lose it:
Wedding Ceremony
Matt Fuller and Brian Branter
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Processional
Gathering
Welcome, family and friends! We come to be with Matt and Brian on this most happy occasion. They have come to make a marriage of their love and understanding; a sacred personal union which the church may solemnize and the state make legal, but which only love can create and mutual loyalty fulfill. We have come to witness their statement of hope and continuing commitment they make today.
Question/Charge to the Couple
We begin the ceremony with the charge to the couple and then to family and friends. The charge is a reminder to the couple and others present that the wedding commitment is a serious decision. The couple and then family and friends are asked to declare that they recognize the importance of their pledge and are committed to honor it.
Matt, will you have Brian as your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, and be loyal and true to him, so long as you both shall live? Response: “I will.”
Brian, will you have Matt as your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, and be loyal and true to him, so long as you both shall live? Response: “I will.”
Charge Addressed to Family and Guests
Do you, Michele, Bruce, Rita and Judy, stand with this couple and bestow the blessing and good wishes of their families? Response: “We do.”
Charge Addressed to Audrey
Audrey, do you stand with your Papa and Daddy and bestow your blessing and good wishes upon their marriage? Hoped for response: “I do”
Do all of you, the families and friends of Matt and Brian bestow your blessing on their union?”
Response: “We do.”
Will you who witness these vows support and uphold this marriage?
Response: “We will.”
Reading
from Letters to a Young Poet
by Rainer Maria Rilke
read by Bruce Fuller (Matt’s dad)
To love is good; love being difficult. For one human being to love another human being; that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which al other work is merely preparation. Loving does not at first mean merging, surrendering, and uniting with another person it is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something of oneself, to become world, to become world in oneself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim, something that one chooses and calls oneself to vast distances.
Marriage Vows
The exchange of wedding vows represents the moment of covenant between two people. Wedding vows are sacred promises you make to each other. May the promises made today, guide you and support you through out your marriage.
I, Matt, pledge to you, Brian, a life of giving and hoping, a life of growing and loving. I shall share with you both my work and play. I shall be with you in your tears and your laughter, just as I will bring my own sorrows and joys to you. I accept you as my companion and pledge to you honor, faith, and love.
I, Brian, pledge to you, Matt, a life of giving and hoping, a life of growing and loving. I shall share with you both my work and play. I shall be with you in your tears and your laughter, just as I will bring my own sorrows and joys to you. I accept you as my companion and pledge to you honor, faith, and love.
Statement of Rings
The rings are an ancient symbol, blessed and simple. Round they are, like the sun, like the eye, like the arms that embrace. Circles they are, for love that is given comes back around again. Therefore, may these symbols remind you that your love, like the sun, illuminates; that your love like the eye, must see clearly, and that your love, like the arms which embrace, is a grace upon this world.
Exchange of Rings
“This ring I give you in token and pledge of my continuing faith and abiding love.”
Blessing (written by Alyson)
Eleven years ago, a serendipitous encounter at a bar called Oilcan Harry’s unknowingly set Matt and Brian on their path together. Matt says of this unexpected meeting, “Wat were the odds that I would have been at a bar on a Thursday night?” We may have Grandmother Florence to thank. It was the day of her passing and the unexpected stop at Oilcan Harry’s, we can speculate, was Matt’s way to drink a toast to her memory.
Things started casually but you made a smooth transition from guys who date to guys in a relationship with relative ease. The relationship was put to an early test when Matt took a job in Virginia. Brian was soon to follow. Soon enough, your attentions turned to starting a family and San Francisco beckoned.
There were challenges and heart aches but you persevered, never losing sight of your dream to be Dads. Four years ago, give or take a few day, you welcomed your daughter Audrey into your lives. Clearly, prayers are answered and dreams do come true.
Part of your preparation for today’s ceremony was to write a letter expressing why you want to marry.
Brian says, “You are hands down, the best Dad in the world. You are a great cook. You pay the bills on time. You fix things when they are broken. You make Audrey lunch every day. We still make each other laugh. You know me better than anyone else and you still love me.”
Matt writes, “So here we are 11 years later, with a kiddo, 3 dogs, and a house with a view of the fog. … We’ve survived the rough times and celebrated the good times with friends, family and the people we love and care bout. And those people didn’t need a public marriage to see the love we have together is special, valuable, tender, fragile, and must be cared for. … Living life together is hard work, not to be taken lightly, but it’s hard work that gives a pleasant shape and meaning to my days.
Marriage is a public declaration of a partnership between two people which implies both permanence and the undertaking of mutual responsibilities. May today’s declaration make those day-to-day tasks of married life: the cleaning, the shopping, the cooking, the play dates, and the finances, to name just a few, seem just a bit less mundane and maybe even magical.
And then there is joy. Don’t forget joy. Marriage is a reminder that you are creatures susceptible to joy: joys of the body, joys of companionship, the joy of sharing the intimacies of life, the joys of parenting, the joy of completing the self in another self.
Matt and Brian, may your marriage declaration today help elevate, even celebrate, the beauty of the ordinary of the everyday. And may sweet serendipity follow you wherever you go.
Benediction
Go forth together. Live simply, live gently, at home in yourselves. Be just in your words and just in your deeds. Move through the world compassionately. Speak courageously in all you say. In deed speak the truth, or speak not at all. Remember your power in the days of your powerlessness; do not desire to be wealthier than your peers, and stint your hand from charity. Practice patience in all you do. Take care of all those put in your charge, young, old, and yourself alike, and let not the demands of this relationship eclipse the friends and family who have sustained you. Go forth with confidence and affection, continuing the journey of life together; to laugh for joy, to suffer for pain, to seek, to serve, to find. Amen.
Pronouncement
Through your deeds and words - a covenant of love and trust to each other - symbolized by the giving, receiving, an wearing of rings, you have made for yourselves a marriage; as a representative of this community, I am delighted to declare that your lives are now joined in state-sanctioned matrimony as beloved husbands. I invite you to kiss.
Recessional
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Alyson E. Jacks
Minister
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