So we’ve I’ve moved our website to a new host, and reinstalled the blogging software (wordpress). So the blog works again (and someday it might be pretty again, but don’t hold your breath on that one).

And everytime I sit down to write a post that involves the kiddo, I pause. What are the ethical implications of blogging about my child? What topics are off limits? What level of privacy do I owe her?

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If you haven’t seen it already, read this article and then visit this site - stories of people dying of cancer along with photos of them near death and on the day of their death. It’s beautiful, sad, haunting, thought-inspiring. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the lady who worked in the soap factory.

Categories: Random Thoughts
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Forgive all the dust while we do some remodeling around here… and maybe, just maybe, we might start posting again.

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Predictable sun
Unappreciated gift
Mass transit faces

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This morning we were in Audrey’s room, getting her dressed so she could go to church with Daddy. She picked out her outfit, choosing some warm-up pants and a black shirt that were not really church-perfect. I made a half-hearted effort to get her into something else but when she resisted, I let it go.

I was putting some clothes away and dropped a bunch of stuff on the floor by mistake.

“Ohh man,” I said, instead of using a bad word.

“Ohh man,” Audrey repeated to see how it felt. “Ohh man,” she said again and then asked “I can say ‘Ohh man’ Papa?”

“Yup, you can say that,” I answered.

“I can say “Ohh man’ but not ‘fuckItDamnIt’ Papa?”

She discovered ‘fuckItDamnIt” a few months ago. She says it as if it is all one big word, hence my spelling.

“Audrey, you know you get a timeout if you say that word.”

“Okay, but why?”

“Cause it’s a bad word.”

“Why?”

“Cause it makes old ladies upset.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes people uncomfortable when you say that. It’s not a nice word. No one should say that word.”

“Not even grown-ups?”

“Not even grown-ups.”

“Okay.”

Categories: Audrey
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My original post about this was rushed and crappy. So I am deleting it and trying again.

Audrey got her first full taste of Halloween this year. The last two Halloweens we were in Mexico so she didn’t have any previous knowledge to build on. She really enjoyed the days leading up to Halloween. She went to a Half Moon Bay pumpkin path with Joel, Jeff, Adrian, Drew, Matt and me and got to ride a pony, a train, and jump in some jump houses. She went to the pumpkin patch in our neighborhood three times: once with Daddy; once with Aunt Liz; and once with Ruth, Samantha, Helena, Nathan, and me. By the time I took her, she was a pro and crawled through the hay tunnels with Nathan over and over with no fear. The Halloween Party she went to with Patrick, Chuck, Nathan, and me at the LGBT center was also a big hit. She got to wear her Uniqua costume, throw ping-pong balls painted like eyes, roll hard-boiled eggs, throw hoops over pumpkins and run screaming through streamers. After the party we went to Home Restaurant where she and Nathan sat next to one another, sang songs and clowned around. The pictures from these events are all smiles.

The official day of Halloween, however, was, emotionally, all over the map.

We started with the Halloween Parade at Audrey’s school in the morning. It was a mad house - sometimes fun and sometimes overwhelming (at least for Audrey, Helena, and me). To her classroom of kids and teachers, all in costume, they added all the parents. The 75% of me that is introvert wanted to flee. The other 25% of me wanted to try to remember the names and faces of all the children and their parents so that when the moms meet me outside the school during pick-up and tell me that their son/daughter talks about Audrey all the time, I will be able to know their name and their child’s face instead of feeling borderline retarded.

First the kids had free time and Audrey did some activities with Matt while I took pictures. Then the South Class marched into the North Class, sang some songs, and marched out. Then the North Class paraded for us in the playground before marching over to the South Class to sing their songs, leaving all the parents behind. Upon returning they sang songs for us and then we all had snacks.

Audrey really enjoyed doing activities with Matt, Panita, and some of her other friends early on. She also got into the snack near the end. It seemed like the parade was a bit confusing for her. During the group singing the North Class did while sitting at their desks, she broke down and started crying. You couldn’t hear her over all the voices, but it was painful for me to watch. We were about 15 feet away from her desk because there was no room to stand near it (her desk is right where the head teachers direct class). I waved at her to come over to me. She pushed back in her chair and stood up, still crying. Then, still crying, but like a good Montessori student, she pushed her chair back in before running over to me. I held her through the rest of the songs. She quieted down but held tight to me. As soon as the singing ended they served snacks and the world was beautiful again.

Matt had made bags of popcorn for the class, but for some reason they didn’t get passed out with all the other snacks. He was pissed afterwards cause he’d busted his ass that morning getting all the popcorn made and put into bags. I think they served it as a snack the next day cause Audrey came home with one of the bags.

After snacks all the kids changed back into their regular clothes and continued with their day while we, the parents, left to do whatever it is that we do all day.

I met back up with Audrey at 5 PM at Patrick, Chuck, and Nathan’s house. Patrick picks Audrey and Nathan up on Wednesday. She was having a blast with Nathan and Ben. Then more and more kids and parents arrived. The kids ate and had a great time. Then the adults ate and Patrick & Chuck got Matt a cheesecake for his birthday so we sang and then Audrey helped him blow out the candles. Then it was time for trick-or-treating.

The kids were super excited and there was some jostling when all of them were on one front porch at a time, but then Audrey and Nathan ended up a bit behind the group with Matt, which seemed to work better. Audrey was amazed that “trick-or-treating” means that you walk around to people’s houses and they give you candy for no apparent reason.

After the first house she kept asking “Are we trick-or-treating now Daddy? Are we trick-or-treating now Nathan?” When we repeatedly assured her, that yes, we were trick-or-treating now, she changed to announcer-mode. “We’re trick-or-treating now Papa. We’re trick-or-treating now Daddy. We’re trick-or-treating now Nathan.”

Perhaps next year it will be easier to comprehend, but this year it was almost enough to make her head explode, because:

• You get to dress up as one of your favorite characters on TV
• You get to walk around at night with your friends
• You get to carry a lady-bug shaped basket
• There are jack-o-lanterns, spider webs, and other strange decorations all over the place.
• You get to knock on the doors of strange houses
• People open the door and put candy in your basket
• On the way home in the car you get to open a piece of candy of your choice, in Audrey’s case a lollipop, and suck on it until you pass out, leaving the half-eaten lollipop stuck to the pant leg of your Uniqua costume.

It was so cool that I almost start crying when I think about it.

Categories: Audrey, Family
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Audrey starts pre-k on September 19. When Matt first emailed me the date it was a shock, like time had slapped me in the face. But I am glad she is going. I think she is getting bored at daycare. The school she is going to is Montesorri in pre-k thru kindergarten. Matt went to Montesorri when he was little and he loved it. From everything I’ve seen it seems amazing for kids her age.

Audrey loves trying new things. Come the 19th she’s going to get an explosion of them. The 3-5 year-olds are all together in one class. At the beginning of the school year they start a single new three-year-old each day to give that child some individual time on their first day.

Categories: Audrey
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Grann (Matt’s mom) came to visit use this weekend. When I got home on Thursday, Grann had arrived and was in the backyard pushing Audrey very high on the small swing. Audrey was laughing with delight. After a bit we headed up and Audrey went into the bathroom to use her little potty. When she was done I stepped into the bathroom to help her wipe.

“No!” Audrey yelled at me, “I want Grann to wipe my booty!”

“Wow Gran,” I said, “you’ve just been upgraded to Audrey’s top tier.”

So Grann and I traded places.

Later that night Matt was giving me a hard time. He said I was doing extra household chores to try to impress his mom.

“No,” I replied, “I just have extra time and energy cause your mom has completely taken over Audrey duty.”

Categories: Audrey, Family
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Things have quieted back down for a bit.

Mom, Sara, Fred, Oscar, and Julia all headed out yesterday morning.

Mom flew in for Audrey’s birthday. Sara, fred, and the kids flew in to see San Francisco for the first time.

Audrey’s birthday was a success. We had it at the zoo. Everyone had pizza and cake, rode the little puffer train, and then checked out some of the animals. Audrey covered her mouth in embarrassment when we sang her “Happy Birthday” but then she immediately recovered to blow out the candles with the help of five other kids. She was totally into it this year and understood what was going on, though it did take us awhile to convince her that she is now 3 and no longer 2 and a half.

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Audrey went to the doctor yesterday for her three-year check-up. Matt said it was tough getting her there but by the time I met them in the waiting room she was in a great mood. She conversed with the doctor, after every step asking,”what are you gonna do now?”

She cooperated with interest. When it came time for the two shots at the end we explained that she was going to get some medicine, called shots, and that it was going to hurt, but only for a second. We held her and Dr. Lee administered them with practiced speed and skill.

She did not cry AT ALL after either shot. All she wanted to do was talk about her two brightly-colored band-aids.

I was shocked. I expected at least a little crying.

She is 31.5 pounds and 37 inches tall which puts her right at both 50 percentiles for her age. Previously she’d been a bit on the tall side and a bit on the light side.

The band-aids from the shots are still on and they scored again this morning when I dropped her off at day care. She’s been getting a bit of seraration anxiety since we got back from the cruise but when I suggested we show her teachers and friends the band-aids there was no sorrow only excited show and tell. To make it even better the teacher had a band-aid on her arm from a boo-boo and her friend John had one on his nose from a fall down the steps.

There’s nothing like small injuries to bring people together.

Categories: Audrey
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