There are a wide range of sexual interests and subcultures in the world, the gay community included.
Some guys are into uniforms – you know, I’ll dress up as a cop and pretend to arrest you. I think the cop outfits make for the worst bar wear, because inevitably someone wears a pair of those ridiculous Ray-Ban aviators to the bar, and instead of looking like a hot cop, they look like a cop school reject that is desperately seeking to hold on to some shred of their masculine image by wearing sunglasses that are eight times too big for their face. But whatever.
Some guys are into military outfits. This is a wide ranging group. We’ve got the Coast Gaurd, USMC, Air Force, Army, Navy, Special Forces, Green Berets, The Boy Scouts, and any number of variations using international forces. Like, you know, we’ll be Navy bunk buddies and it’ll be all hot and discreet like. The unforunate thing about these outfits is, unfortunately, when you are wearing camoflauge at the bar, I can still see you.
Some guys are into the whole cowboy thing. Let’s dress up and you can hogtie me while I’m wearing spurs. Quite frankly, wouldn’t you be really nervous having sex when someone was wearing spurs? Of course the flip side to this is dressing up like an indian, but after that one village person tried it, he was laughed out of the gay community and we’ve been pretty safe from bad indian drag since the 70′s.
Some guys are into wrestling singlets. Which I think is just about the silliest thing, ever. But whatever floats their boat. I’m not judging, I’m just saying that I’d never wear one.
Of course, construction workers are another hot uniform outfit. Along this same theme of rugged outdoorsmen we also have the logger outfit. With thigh high boots, flannel, and a mustache.
But for a moment, let’s talk about the uniforms you don’t see. At least, the uniforms I have yet to see a gay man wearing.
Public Transit? Who really wants to dress up as a bus driver and try to get sex?
Oh yeah, Mr. Bart driver, smartly turn into the bus stop, turn on your hazards, and help the old lady get on? I mean, it just doesn’t have that ring…
Public Service? Cable Companies, DirecTV, the sears repairman, the Maytag guy. No, I don’t think so.
Vetranarians? No, and for good reason, if you ask me.
Sanitation Engineers? It’d would be really funny if they wore a whole lot of cheap obnoxious cologne. But funny at their expense, not funny ha ha.
Gardners? Fast Food Employees? Dog Catcher? Forest Service Ranger? (which, when you think about it, should fall into the rugged outdoorsmen category, but I think we all have an image of friendly, helpful, kind of nelly, Forest Service Rangers.)
But really, of all the list, I still have to say the best is public transit employee. It just makes me giggle to no end.