A backlog of users to approve of. Sorry. It’s not a power trip. It’s Harry Potter #6′s fault. Work is crazy busy. Audrey has recovered fully from illness #1. And I’m halfway through Potter #6, soon to return to reality. Listen to daddyquake, m’kay?
Enjoy the video. (Requires flash)
I don’t know if they are for real or not, since they aren’t listed on the darwinawards website, but according to this friend who sent me an email, here are the 2005 recipients:
Darwin Awards ……2005. Yes, it’s that magical time of the year
again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious winners:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot
did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The
chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer…$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head
at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Lexan. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back
to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s
the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying
that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.
LOL. Thanks to a reader for the link about the latest gay family cruise sponsored (endorsed? I’m not sure, exactly) by Rosie O’Donnell. Anywho, this is the second year of the cruise and you can read the day by blog about it over at baywindows.
Maybe someday my family will go on a gay cruise. I’m sure we could talk the prosperfahey family into going on a cruise. But then the question would be, would I throw Patrick off the boat first, or would he throw me off? Note to self: up life insurance before any such trip.
So Patrick and I are going to do our first podcast today. After many marketing focus groups, extensive field research, and the flip of a coin we’ve decided to name the podcast “DaddyQuake” and the tagline is “Because it takes a Village, People”
First podcast should be up at daddyquake tonight or tomorrow. You can also find it in iTunes as well.
Also, pictures are coming soon… we’ve had some technical difficulties with our main computer that have slowed things down a bit….
Hey. To all y’all that have registered but can’t yet see personal content, don’t worry. I’m running behind. We had company in for the 4th of July weekend, work is busy, and, oh yeah, I’ve got a 10 (almost 11) month old daughter who crawls around the house non-stop. It’s cute and exhausting.
So, I’ll get you setup in the next couple of days, but don’t worry. Not only have I not had time to get you setup for personal access, I haven’t even had the time to write personal things. But Patrick and I are doing our first podcast later in the week. It’s gonna rock. If you don’t have an iPod, you should probably go and buy one right now.